As we were indulging in our Bay Area smug, it dawned on us “How have we not made an Outside Lands’ menu for people?” Without further adieu, below you’ll find our pairings of Outside Land’s foods with their appropriate performers. Bon appetite!
Kanye West + AQ’s “Highbrow Spaghetti”
Yeezus wouldn’t eat plain ol’ marinara and pasta. This is GOD we’re talking about. (His words, not mine.) So you best get on that “Highbrow Spaghetti” from AQ. Instead of parmesan they sprinkle gold on it. And because decadence and YEEZUS are synonymous, you need to finish that al dente pasta perfection with Humphry Slocombe’s “Scoops of Chocolate Gold Rush” because you ain’t messing with “no broke n*****.”
Dj Tiësto + Living Green’s Juice “Hot Detox Tea”
You know it, we know it, you’re going to need this after seeing Tiësto. Buy two “Hot Detox Teas.” You can share the second one with the fifteen year old in the fetal position writhing next to you.
Macklemore + Glaze Teriyaki “Teriyaki Bowl”
Bring Macklemore’s “Thriftshop,” can’t stop, won’t stop, attitude to the festival. When your neighbor finishes their Seattle’s finest “Teriyaki Bowl” don’t let it go to waste. Pop that secondhand chicken into your mouth. Because you know you want that same, lukewarm, half-eaten love in your belly.
The Flaming Lips + Woodhouse’s “Clam Chowder”
When The Flaming Lips are birthed out of the vagina on stage, you know what you need–clam chowder. Enough said.
The Killers + Bacon Bacon “Porky Fries” & Wise Son’s “Pastrami Fries”
No meat or human is safe when The Killers take the stage. Pile on the “Porky Fries” (Bacon Bacon) with a side of “Pastrami Fries” (Wise Son’s) because clogging your arteries is the killer way to your heart.
Duck Sauce + Those Fabulous Frickle Brothers’ “Fabulous Frickles”
wooHOOOOOOOOOwoooOOOhoo…”Fabulous Frickles.” wooHOOOOOOOOOwoooOOOhoo…”Fabulous Frickles.”
Greensky Bluegrass + Rich Table’s “Porcini Doughnuts”
There’s only way you’re going to see a green sky. But if you want a safe alternative, indulge in some savory “Porcini doughnuts” because while you’ll still likely get a tummy ache, you won’t black out the rest of the day’s activities. At least not because of these shrooms.