Shitting on Musicians: The Pigeon Scare

08/30/2010

The first question asked of Kings of Leon at this year’s Outside Lands Festival press conference, “Are you preparing for the pigeon shit?” Only two weeks had passed since the group prematurely ended their show in St. Louis from an Alfred Hitchcock-esque attack of pigeons pooping. Nathan, the eldest of the brothers, responded factiously to the journalist that the group’s manager was looking into a repellant.

Being that Outside Lands is well, outside, we at SFCritic thought it was apt now that the shit had been washed away to ask the other performers of Outside Lands whether they ever been shat on by a pigeon? Granted that our potty humor was our main motivator, but isn’t the first step of moving, laughing, and putting that shit behind you?

Vieux Farka Toure

“Haha no! Some have sat on my shoulder before, but they know better than to poop on me!” Actually, we respect pigeons in my culture, so I hope they will show the same respect.”

Dick Valentine of Electric Six

“No but as soon as we heard that, we found the nearest pigeon and we pooped on it. We said, ‘This is for The Kings of Leon!  Not so funny now, is it, you common disease-carrying carrion!!!!!!’”

Andrew Stockdale of Wolfmother

One time in the mall in Brisbane when I was  probably going out for a date in high school, the hugest pigeon shit of all time landed on my shirt. Yeah, you kind of have to find a toilet somewhere to run into and hide the shame. I was fifteen.”

Christain Mazzalai & Laurent Brancowitz of Phoenix

Laurent Brancowitz: “Aah, no. I’ve been pooped on by more noble birds like eagles, condors!”

Christian Mazzalai: “Two days ago we played a concert in Iowa, in the heart of your country, where big toads were on stage and the bass player almost stepped on one. Everything can happen. You face the possibility of ridicule every day, because when you’re on stage everyone is equal and that’s the beauty of life. I won’t say who, but a famous French musician told me that once when he was a teenager he saw the cutest girl whom he wanted to smile at, but he slipped on dog shit and fell on his face into the dog shit.”